Siri: Steve Jobs pisses his pants from beyond the grave

I’m sure there’s been a ton of posts about this already, but really? Siri the ‘intelligent assistant’? If I had an assistant like this (and I have), I would have fired him/her* by now (and I have).

Siri is not an intelligent assistant. Not even an assistant. I’ll tell you what Siri is. Siri is your co-worker’s precocious, diverting-for-about-twenty-minutes, Montessori-educated nine year old whom she brings in on Bring Your Kid To Work Day. Siri is as much use in real life as your proverbial chocolate teapot.

Siri can’t understand the Estuary twang in some of my vowels. Siri can do fuck all if s/he can’t access the network. Siri is slow, and interrupts me when I’m talking. Siri can’t work out which, of multiple email addresses I have for the same person, which I use the most. Siri gives up if what s/he’s looking for isn’t in the first place s/he tries.

Example:

“Find emails about X”

“I can’t find any emails about X”

“Really? Well did you look? How about searching the server? You know, like the iPhone can?”

On the day when Apple stores closed for yet more homage to Steve (I bet the production camps at Foxconn didn’t skip a beat), Siri is his final joke. And it’s on us.

*Siri’s voice is female in the US, male in the UK. I say “male”, it’s more sort of creepy androgynous serial killer/stalker. Your mileage may appear closer in the mirror than far way. Or something.